As A Matter of Interest.

Maybe it’s because I just set up this blog and a couple of new e-mail addresses recently. Or maybe because I’ve filled in quite a few application forms in the last few weeks, but I’m sick of people asking me “what are your interests?”

I have no idea what my ‘interests’ are. I never know how to answer that question, be it on a profile or in a job interview or just when you start chatting to someone. Why does everyone want to know what my interests are anyway? What’s it to you!

And who can do that? Condense your entire world into a list of six to eight things as if to say, “of all the things that have ever interested me – these few things are the ones I find the most interesting.”

It’s ridiculous! No one is as dull as their interests section says they are [No, I can’t believe it, I won’t believe it]. Have you read other peoples profiles? Of course you have, most of them are pretty much the same – different variations and combinations of: Music, Television, Film/Cinema, “Going Out”*, Sport, Reading, Pets, Family, Education, Work (you are either a weirdo or one jammie dodger), Religion/Philosophy, Current Affairs/Politics (although, in Britain, we’re a little bit cagey about the last two) and (my favourite) Insert Joke Here. (No, that genuinely is my favourite one, I love the stupid jokes people leave on their profiles, they make me smile even if they are lame – no, especially if they’re lame!)

* “Going Out” is always a funny one. What does that mean? We all go out don’t we? Plus, you’re not likely to write, “My principle interest is sitting at home, alone, in the dark.” even if it is true. [Shut up, it’s not true – I went out down the shops the other day, so there!] In the circles I move in, its pretty much a euphemism for “Going Out …On The Piss.” Sure, it’s sometimes worded as “Socialising with friends” (maybe on an application form or something) but we know what you mean, we all know what you mean. But no one is allowed to say it. It’s like the word “DRINKING” got a super-injunction against it. And lets not even get started on what they did to “SMOKING” otherwise we will have to get the European Court of Human Rights involved.

But what are we supposed to do with this information? When are you ever going to need to know that Barry likes going to gigs to see bands play? If Barry likes going to gigs to see bands play, then he’ll tell you, he’ll say, “You know what, I went to a gig the other night, I saw this great band play.” And you’ll probably think to yourself “Oh, well, I guess Barry likes going to gigs to see bands play.” Until he does say that, that information is of no use whatsoever.

If someone comes up to you and asks, “I don’t know Barry very well, what’s he like?” and you answer, “He likes going to gigs to see bands play” You are going to get quite a few odds stares coming your way. [Notice my natural inclination is to ask, “What is he like” not “what are his interests”. Asking what a stranger’s interests are sounds a bit weird. You try it. Next time you are chatting to a friend of yours and they bring up a non-mutual friend ask them, without hesitation, “what are their interests?” just to see how they react]

I’ve heard people say that a profile gives ‘a sense of a person.’ What, on all that is yellow, does that mean! All it tells us is how conformed and homogenised we all are and that we all tend to put the same answers for things.

I think I might know why that is: no one really cares about these things. Quick show of hands, how many people have signed up to an application, found (or have been presented with) a profile screen, filled in a couple of the boxes and said, “Sod it, that’ll do.” before never revisiting that profile ever again?

Errm… This is a bit awkward. I’m gunna assume that most of you have done that and risk looking like an idiot in my closing statement.

At the end of the day, I don’t think you can encapsulate yourself in a few short sentences or by answering a series of broad questions like that. And I think that reading one only gives you the vaguest impression of who that person is. The best way to find out about someone is to say hello and have a chat with them [hinting towards the comments section now]. Interests, at best, are merely topics with which to start a conversation; it’s the conversation itself that is important. Opinions trump interests any day of the week for me.