Last Friday (the 14th of September 2012) marked the end of a particularly prevalent chapter in British radio as Chris Moyles presented his final edition of the breakfast show on Radio 1. Now, as is obligatory when mentioning Chris Moyles, I have to acknowledge that not everyone is a fan of the man but, in my opinion, it is still an event worth noting.
I, as many others, have practically grown up listening to Chris Moyles and was deeply deeply disappointed by the news that the show was coming to an end. So I have decided to take this opportunity to reflect on the show and share some of my own memories. So let’s do that then…
First Encounters.
The year was approximately 1998, when I was at the tender age of 14, when I first came across Radio 1’s afternoon host in the drive-time slot. Radio 1 was a different place then; Britpop was transitioning back into mainstream pop, dance music was claiming its first footholds at the fringes of the station and the godfather John Peel was playing out obscure bands with peculiar names. I used to switch on the radio after finishing school to catch the end of the Mark and Lard show (whooooooooooooooooo? [would you beleive I couldn’t find a single clip of the long who to link to. Oh well, look at this instead]) – an unusual blend of sketches and comedy features all but absent from Radio 1’s current incarnation.
Following this came the familiar refrain from George Thorogood’s “Bad To The Bone” announcing the arrival of “the saviour of Radio 1”– Chris Moyles. The show consisted of (as it had until the end) chatter, daft features and games, competitions (remember them?), parody songs and on-air disagreements and disputes. This last one, and an overall irreverent attitude, is probably what branded Moyles (wrongly, in my opinion) as a shock-jock.
I have to admit that this aspect is probably what started me off listening in the first place – in particular live accusations of incompetence levelled at the producer Will “shut up Will, you stupid grey-haired old man” Kinder (even funnier in hindsight since Kinder is now a senior producer at Radio 1).
The Dawn of Controversy.
Adding to this perception was Moyles’ sometimes flippant attitude toward members of the public calling into the show, most notably during a much loved competition called Viaduct (based on a Two Ronnies sketch). Up to this point DJ’s had a somewhat sycophantic manner when conversing with members of the public – even when they were being stupid, dull or downright aggravating. Chris wouldn’t do this, often talking straight, arguing with callers and sometimes even cutting off the ‘divvies’. This led to the show fielding questions and accusations of unnecessary (and sometimes accidental) meanness (which likely helped shape opinions in the popular media to this day). However, most of the callers were in on the gag and would likely have come away disappointed had Moyles not insulted them.
This attitude was often extended to celebrity guests which would in turn fuel further controversy. The one from this era that sticks out in my mind was an interview with Will Young who had recently come out. For all Chris Moyles supposed bullishness and immaturity he displayed quite a liberal and mature attitude to it – discussing it openly with humour and good natured jibes along the lines of “If you are a homosexual man, why do you sing heterosexual love songs?” (to which the answer was “because they are popular”). This in-sighted bewildering accusations of homophobia from some Will Young fans (but not Will Young himself) and the press (even more bewildering in retrospect, when you look at his close friendship with producer Aled, an openly gay man). Moyles met the controversy head-on and, as would become one of the touchstones of the show, on the air with words to the effect of “what’s the big deal? All it means is that Will might look at another man’s bum and think ‘hmm that’s alright’ – that’s all thier is to it.” This was probably when my opinion of Chris Moyles changed from just a funny loud-mouth to someone who had a bit more about him.
A Touch of Comedy.
At this point, it is frankly criminal that I have not yet mentioned ‘Comedy’ Dave Vitty – major contributor and constant partner in crime of the show. I have often thought that had their not been a Comedy Dave then there would be no Chris Moyles – and I stand by that. The history of the Chris Moyles Show could be condensed as a prolonged conversation between Dave and Chris with a revolving door of additional contributors (various producers, newsreaders and recurring guests etc.) with the aim of making each other laugh and entertaining the nation.
Dave’s contributions came mainly in the form of convoluted games and features built around naff puns and hilarious parody songs. These parody songs are the final pieces of the puzzle that turned me into a regular listener and never failed to get tongues wagging on the playground the next day. Particular favourites include “Stanta”, built around the song “Stan” and produced in response to Eminem’s 2000 campaign on the Christmas chart (beaten by Bob the Builder’s “Can We Fix it?”), and “Addicted To Plaice” based on “Addicted to Bass” by Puretone which featured on the 2009 Parody Album.
Not All Fun and Games.
There was, of course, a more serious side to this and, like I said, a lot of us grew up with Chris Moyles as our soundtrack. This inevitably meant there were some bitter times to go along with the sweet.
The best example of this can be summed up in one distinct date – Tuesday 11th of September 2001. I remember distinctly how I discovered the news of what had happened. I was sitting on a wall waiting to be picked up from school (sixth form technically at this point), I switched on my walkman and heard Chris say “…and then the plane hit the tower.” and then a couple of songs played. I had thought I had just caught the end of some bizarre joke or anecdote (for anyone who is confused, because of the time difference, the attack occurred in the afternoon in the UK). Then the songs finished and the full explanation came. I sat there stunned. I even think one of my friends tried to talk to me but I just blanked him. I remember wanting to run up to him and shout “Don’t you know what’s just happened?” but I wouldn’t have found the words.
Then my lift arrived and, for reasons I won’t go into here, I started an hour and half drive home and the events unfolded. On the one hand I was spared the carousel of images that most people site as their most indelible memory of that day. On the other hand, I only had imagination to fill in the blanks until I got home.
From that moment, Radio 1 stopped doing links (which, ironically, had become universally longer since Moyles’ rise at the station) and simply played music. The station, along with the country and the rest of the world, went into a kind of torpid shock – no one had anything to say. This continued for the rest of the week.
Then, on the 15th of September (my 17th birthday) it came to the last ever Chris Moyles Saturday Morning Show. The team had already planned for the show to be a big finale extravaganza and decided – with a disclaimer – to execute the show as planned. And so the station, and the nation, started on the road to recovery and normality. Once again Chris had had a hand in the tempo of the entire station.
Move To The Morning.
In January 2004, the show moved to the flagship breakfast show. Me being a night-owl, I didn’t follow them over initially. So I missed that famous epic jingle that started his first show (which would come back to haunt him later). Eventually though, I discovered the Podcast (Free Download) and eventually crept back into the swing of things.
Actually, the rise of technology though-out the run of the show is quite interesting in it’s own right. In the beginning the fax machine was still prevalent and the only real way, other than the phone, to contact the show. Then came the website (BBC On-line) and eventually the listen again feature. By 2005 came the podcast – one of the most popular in the country and given completely free (hence the “name change” to Free Download). Then came social media like Facebook and Twitter which spread the show into other countries including a brief stint on Sirius Satellite Radio which brought in a load of American and Canadian fans (as well as fans from other countries who could listen on-line).
The format didn’t change much (well, if it ain’t broke…) but new features were added. Favourites include “Car-park Catchphrase” with Roy Walker, “Rob DJ’s Monday Night Pub Quiz” (held on Tuesday morning), “One Word Weather with Nelson Mandela” (actually Dominic Byrne doing an impression – while we are on caricatures there was also Dom’s “Fake Adele” and Chris’ “Clumsy Westwood”), “Where Am I?” with Tim Westwood (“I’m on the moon!”), “Aled with a megaphone” (not actually a feature – just something that kept happening) and Dom’s cringey interviews with A-list celebs.
Controversy at Dawn.
As ever, it was not always plain sailing and Moyles continued to act as a lightening rod for controversy, particularly with the tabloid press. Firstly was a policy with special guests which said that, if the celebrity missed their call time without good reason, Chris would refuse to interview them (and plug their book, song, TV programme, film etc.). Most notably this happened to media-whore Katy Price (aka Jordan) who thought it a good idea to use the rest of the day’s junkets to slag the show off, seemingly forgetting that Chris had access to a whole morning show and a reputation for meeting criticism head on. The next day he proceeded to tear her version of events to pieces and undermine what little credibility she may have had left.
Another example was when The Sun printed an entire article claiming that he had been fired. The article was a transparent bid for readership filled with flimsy tabloid phrases such as “sources say…” and “according to an unnamed insider…” which, as it turned out, was entirely made-up. Chris, as ever, addressed it on the air, reassuring fans that “we ain’t going nowhere” and once again turning the story in to the joke that it was.
One final example is probably the most well known. It involves Chris Moyles not getting paid by the BBC and, characteristically, bringing it up on the air. With the recession pinching and envious anger directed towards high earners (this was approximately the same time that various MP and banker scandals were hitting the fan) running high, many dissenters viewed this “rant” as rich-boy whining. Many pointed at Moyles’ salary as a reason that Chris had no right to complain about the situation, seemingly missing the point that 0% of what ever figure you care to imagine still adds up to £0.00. Essentially he was working for nothing. Now, who among us would – or indeed could – work for free? Perhaps he shouldn’t have brought it up on the radio but, if this post proves nothing else, that was never his style. Of course he was going to blow the whistle on it.
For Charidy Mate.
Another aspect of the Chris Moyles Show is the amount of charity work and fund raising they managed – particularly with Comic Relief. There have been many examples of this over the years – from the “Red Nose Road Show” to Chapper’s & Dave’s attempt to do a lap at every premiership football ground, collecting merchandise along the way for auction.
The most memorable was when Chris accepted the challenge to climb Kilimanjaro. Even though there were a score of other celebs on the trek, Moyles was the only one that people felt would not be able to hack it. I’m sure there were a lot of disappointed people when it was announced that every single one of them, Chris included, made the top and that Radio 1 had in fact raised more than any of the other contributors.
Probably the most ambitious challenge was Chris and Dave’s attempt to present “The Longest Show Ever.” Lasting close to three days, I ended up watching (for it was televised) pretty much all of it – becoming addicted to seeing just how far they could get. The format involved all the other DJ’s coming in for their regular slots – only with Chris and Dave joining in with their various regular features. The feat was made all the more impressive by the fact that Chris did most of the whole thing standing. [Actually, its probably for the best that Chris left – because I can’t think of a way that they could have topped this.]
This was the closest we ever came to my personal dream show – “Midnight Moyles”. The idea – not that I think Radio 1 would ever have gone for this – is that The Chris Moyles Show (as it is/was, without much alteration) is scheduled at midnight so that all those “not-safe-for-radio” jokes and anecdotes could finally be told.
So Why Is it Ending?
Well, that’s the big question. According to Ben Cooper, Radio 1 controller, a major component was concerns that the average age of listeners was too high. Apparently the target age group is between 15 and 29 (I’ve just turned 28) and the average age is currently 32 (which is hardly past it). In order to artificially drive this demographic down, Cooper seems content to simply cull anyone above the target age (yeah, good luck with your listening figures on that one, Ben).
There are problems with this strategy. The first being the assumption that younger people will only listen to people of their own age (err… John Peel anyone?). The second being that, anyone younger than myself, grew up with many options for entertainment. As I grew up my options were 1) watch the TV or 2) put on the radio. Today, kids can go on-line, play games on phones or consoles, listen/watch again, text, tweet, facebook, blog (ha!), watch YouTube…. well you get the point. I’m not slagging off any of the above, I think it is brilliant that people now have the opportunity to customise their choice of entertainment to meet their specific tastes. My point is that today “listen to the radio” is but one of many possible options and “listen to Radio 1” is but one choice from the thousands of other radio stations, particularly since the rise of digital radio.
This has been in the air for a while now however, I would say at least since the time that Jo Whiley left the station and was replaced by Fearne Cotton. Jo, inventor of the Live Lounge (and also “Tenuous Link” from which “Tedious Link” was derived), represented a link in a chain that kept new music flowing through the station. How it used to work was Zane Lowe would “borrow” tunes from the specialist DJ’s that occupy the late night shows. Whiley would “borrow” tracks from Zane and play them out on her music-heavy mid-morning show and from there, if the song was good enough, it would find its way onto the more mainstream shows. After she left, this continuity disintegrated and the specialist DJ’s drifted further away from the rest of the station into their own little bubble. As for her replacement, well….
A Poor Replacement.
Nick Grimshaw followed by Fearne Cotton… well there’s six hours of unlistenable radio right there. Both inexplicably show up on every-bloody-thing and talk absolute rubbish. I have never liked either one of them and I think trying to listen to their hand-overs might actually cause grievous harm. I may never wake up again!
Radio 1 is not a complete wash out just yet – Sara Cox is still there (for now) and the afternoon still gives us the Scott Mills/Greg James tag team which is worth listening to. Zane Lowe is soldiering on four nights a week and Huw Stevens is there at the weekends.
Perhaps, I shouldn’t complain. Perhaps, I’m just bitter that the things I loved are one by one giving over to the new (represented, evidently, by the factious and the gossipy bullshit). Perhaps, this is how it has always been – but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!
So Where Do I Go Now?
Forgetting for the moment that I still, technically, fall into Radio 1’s holy grail demographic (but no, fuck you Ben Cooper, if you are too stupid to realise that it is just as easy to re-brand the station as a family or flagship station [similar to BBC One] than to chase the fleeting and fickle “youth” market, then you don’t deserve my listenership) The question still remains – what am I going to listen to now? And more importantly, what am I going to set my alarm to when I have to get up in the morning?
Here are my main options:
- Radio 2 – I’m not ready for Radio 2! Your dad listens to Radio 2. Now I have nothing against older music (in fact I probably listen to more of it than newer stuff) but I still want to know what’s going on today. [I know Radio 2 plays new music – but the station has a different flavour that I am not used to]
- 1 Xtra – No thanks. I’m NOT an “urban youf” and I don’t care to listen to that kind of music exclusivity. Besides, I tried listening to 1 [E]xtra before when they did a cross-over with Radio 1 and I almost tore the plug off my radio.
- Commercial Radio – I hate commercial radio! The quality is piss-poor, the presenters are interchangeable and indistinct, they only seem to have about twelve songs (mostly 80’s crap) and the adverts, repeated ad-nauseum, can drive you mad. [Too many places where I have worked have left commercial radio on – making a shit job even worse.]
- Radio 3 & 4 – Ha! I put that in as a joke. We all know those stations are named after the amount of people who actually listen to them.
- 6 Music – A strong possibility with only one drawback. As a digital only station my humble little clock radio can’t pick it up so it would be useless as an alarm call.
So go on Ben, what am I to listen to now? Which station are us 28-35’s supposed to listen to now, since you’ve decided you don’t want us? Is there a radio 1.5? I think not. Are Radio 2 about to fire Ken Bruce or Jules Holland to accommodate us? Unlikely. Did you think this plan through at all and conceive that the reason you have so many listeners of the “wrong” age bracket is because A) they like it how it is and B) we have nowhere else to go? Doesn’t look like it. You, sir, are an idiot and most likely to be remembered as the controller who buried Radio 1 once and for all.
The Saviour Is Gone!
And so, back to what this post is actually about – not ranting about imbecilic BBC management (which, incidentally, was one of Moyles’ favourite targets) – but bidding farewell to The Chris Moyles Show.
It sure was a sad day listening to the final broadcast (well the last couple of weeks worth really) but you may have noticed something a little peculiar in these shows. The keenest amongst you (and, despite how we are portrayed in the popular press, Chris Moyles Show fans have learnt to be astute and read between the lines.) can’t have failed to notice it.
You may recall the particular wording that this was to be “the last ever Chris Moyles Breakfast Show” and that, when pressed by various guests as to his plans for the future, Chris only gave a brief account of what he was doing in the immediate future (a bit part in “Jesus Christ Superstar” and a new album). This either suggests that he hasn’t yet decided what he is doing next or he has and is trying to keep it under wraps (in which case, it’s a miracle that Dave didn’t blurt it out). Obviously, I’m just speculating but, I wouldn’t be surprised if Moyles returns in some way, shape or form (my bet would be on the weekend but my wish would be “mid-night Moyles”, obviously)
In either case, it was definitively the last Breakfast Show – drawing to a close eight and a half years of dedicated hard work and effortless professionalism. So it is only fair to say – Thank You.
Thanks for helping my get up in the morning, something I find very difficult and positively daunting now I haven’t got you to make me smile.
Thanks for all the games and the jokes, the interviews and the controversies.
Thanks for telling us how it is and never shying away from giving us the full scoop even when it might seem niche or geeky or personal or uncomfortable.
Thanks for getting me through the hard times (for their have been many) and for highlighting the good (sitting in the sun with the radio on will never be the same again).
Thanks “Comedy” Dave Vitty. Thanks Dominic “Don’t Call Me Baldy” Byrne. Thanks Juliette Ferrington. Thanks Carrie “Camilla Ice” Davis. Thanks Tina “We Didn’t Forget You” Daheley. Thanks Rachel “Time For The News” Jones. Thanks “BB” Aled Haydn Jones. Thanks Will Kinder “You Stupid Grey-Haired Old Man”. Thanks Sam Moy. Thanks Freya Last. Thanks Jocelin Stainer. Thanks, to a lesser extent, Matt Fincham. Thanks Pippa Taylor-Hackett. Thanks Paul Turner. And, of course, Thanks Chris “The Saviour of Radio 1” Moyles.
Thank You & Good Bye.
[And also, thank you to the people behind Chrismoyles.net who thought to save up all those clips and stuff. Now we all have some stuff to pick through if we get a Moyles craving.]
Random Insults to Sanity 